Why are we doing this?

I was watching a programme about modern literature, and a writer described the internet as a sewer for writers, unpublished writers obviously. In a world where there are too many writers, this is how us bloggers are percieved.

This depressed me, and made me more aware of how important blogs actually are, and how important it is we show people that we are not just writers who couldn't get published, and blogging is about more than that.

I tried writing on my blog everyday, but this turned it into a diary, which is not the point of what I'm trying to do here. I'm supposed to be trying to improve my writing, and to gain an audience for it. So far I've spoken about unexplained aspects of my life, none of you would relate to, I need to talk more about what's driven me to this place.

It's hard to know where to start, I had hippy parents, so have the usual aversion to capitalism and fascism. My mother died after a long illness (Type 1 Diabetes) when I was 11, we also moved to another part of the country around this time, and I didn't fit in at my new school. These 2 things can be blamed for my clinical depression, and feelings of alienation from mainstream society I'm sure. My mothers death and his own mothers death when he was a child, made him difficult to get along with and communicate with through my teenage years, this would explain the nightmares I've had choosing men in the past. So there you have it, my blog takes another twist, a serious one...