15 September 2004

Its been ages.

Didn't realise it had been so long since I last came here, as you can guess I've been busy. I've fallen in love with yet another hopeless nutter, who'll surely break my heart. He's called Christian, and is tall and big with brown curly hair. Quite btontesque, and fantastic in bed. But very messed up at the moment, and giving out confusing signals, I don't know what he really wants, and neither does he by the look of it.
He rang me up off his face crying and telling me he loved me, but then acts like nothing happened, probably doesn't even remember.
I don't know how I let myself get screwed up by these guys so much, but with him its different, its like he really does love me, I'm not kidding myself, he's just too fucked up to show it. I don't know what to do now, I haven't seen him since Friday, he never contacts me unless I contact him, and I know he's got another woman. But things he says suggest he doesn't want to be with her, but who knows whats really going on in his head.
I've decided to just leave the ball in his court now, wait for him to contact me, in his last text he said he'd be in touch.

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